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A Waking Nightmare
07 June, 2009
In my wildest dreams I could not have imagined it would be this bad. I thought, hey, tens of thousands of people in this country go through this every day. If they can do it, surely I can. I mean, I'm educated, I'm quite intelligent, I'm worldly and wise. I've got my ducks in a row, my shit together. How much can this really set me back? If I put my mind to it, I can do anything. I am woman hear me roar. I believe I can fly. I will survive. You know, and other bullshit motivational songs.
It turns out? I just can't do it. I cannot shop with coupons.
I saw them in the paper this morning. They were mocking me. They were saying that I'm "too proud", that I don't know "how they work", and that I can't "use the scissors". Assholes. So I showed those mouthy two for one deals. I cut them right out and marched my little ass down to the store.
Problem #1 - The coupons were for a store I never shop at - the one I like doesn't put out coupons - so I couldn't find a damn thing.
So I found myself pacing back and forth muttering obscenities under my breath looking for two for one Palmolive and it hits me. What the F am I doing here? Trying to save 46 cents on something I don't even use. But then I found the damn dish soap so I decided to press on. Until, of course, I hit...
Problem #2 - The two for ones I so diligently clipped out over morning coffee were gone, snatched up by greedy penny pinchers approximately six minutes after the paper went to press last night. So the muttering started again.
But then I noticed that there were boxes of things right by the shelves where all the good deals were supposed to be stocked. I spent a considerable amount of time trying to find a grocery specialist near me to open the boxes so I could get my coupon shit and get the hell home to drown my bargain shopping woes in a Whiskey Seven (yes it was still morning; don't judge me). But after at least a minute and a half of relentless recon, I couldn't find anyone in an apron. So I whipped my keys out of my purse, cut the packing tape, and opened it myself.
Dear Old Lady Who Sniffed at Me and Walked Off in a Huff,
I saw you turn around and root through that box when you thought I wasn't looking, don't think I didn't. What's good for the goose is good for the gander, eh?
After almost an hour of searching for the right stuff, because I learned from my Grandma the Coupon Maven that everything must match up exactly, I threw my stack of coupons on the floor in disgust because I was so. damn. frustrated.
Which brings us swiftly to
Problem #3 - You have to present your mother effing coupons to the mother effing cashier at the mother effing check out. You are mother effing kidding me.
Back I go across the store to collect them, because I just wasn't willing to miss out on all that savings after all that work. And a good thing too, because I saved myself thirteen bucks on two hundred dollars worth of groceries.
Well, thank the Lord. Because two hundred thirteen would really have broken the bank.
June 8, 2009 6:07 AM
I can't do it either. It's just too much work and it takes too much extra time being in a store I already don't like. I'll glance around and see if there are better deals, but I just can't do the coupon thing. I like my grocery store because its pretty and clean and maybe a tad overpriced but its worth it to me. Everythings where its supposed to be and its not a clusterfluck of twatbiscuits trying to kill me for a deal.
Whew, sorry. I tend to have strong feelings for the grocery store.
xo,
Jess
June 8, 2009 6:15 AM
It may not break the bank, but $13/week over the course of a year is $676! That should get you a new pair of shoes or two. Then there are double and, wait for it, triple couple weekends!
I look at it as a game. I do the mental math to figure out if the couple is actually worth using. Not being brand loyal helps. My personal best is $40 on a $200 bill.
June 8, 2009 7:48 AM
13 is like 3 latte's right???
I hate to cute thoses things out too, and I shoul dbe the one using them,..
I shop where they have the reward points, more my kinda thing~
Rock the "Coupon Chic"
June 8, 2009 8:39 AM
It takes a lot of work and I've been shopping with coupons since the very first day I was on my own and paying my own bills. The last grocery trip I made I saved $25 in coupons on $120 in groceries. It's worth it when you are struggling to save money like my hubs & I are. We have law school to consider! Also, the most important thing that I wish someone had told me when I started is that the most general coupons are the best (P&G Brand Saver, Red Plum, etc.) and that you should cut one out on something that you need regularly even if you aren't out of it right at this moment. That way when you sit down to make your grocery list, you can just go through the coupons you have saved and can save money when you need the items. Don't buy something just because there's a coupon! Also, some stores like Homeland have double/triple coupon days and if your shopping falls on such a day then it doesn't get much better than that. :) Good luck if you try to do it again! It really is worth it if you can shop smartly.
June 8, 2009 9:13 AM
As my husband is fond of saying your time is worth something. And I often find that I don't save enough with the coupons to make it worth my while. I will use them if I have them, but I won't go looking for them or spend hours figuring out how to get the maximum potential from them. I am brand conscious. Face it, you get what you pay for. I'm willing to pay an extra
$.40 to appease my taste buds. Take heart, my hubby would have cut open the box too. What else can you do when these stores seem to think customer service is a myth. I would say cut out the coupons that work for where you shop. You save a little. But at least you're not making negative $5.00 / hr trying to save a lot.
June 8, 2009 10:07 AM
People in my state shop with food stamps. Since our grocery store is closing, one of the employees was transferred to the Sedona store and he says that everyone drives Jaguars, Mercedes and are dripping with expensive watches, gold and diamonds but they pay for their groceries with FOOD STAMPS!! True story, I just heard it yesterday. I guess it happens in my town too!
Coupons won't kill you!! Just think of all the Gucci you can buy with the savings!!
;)
Hugs!!
June 8, 2009 7:31 PM
Hey, $13 adds up. FAST. I would kill for an extra $13. That said, I use stores like Aldi. They're so cheap they don't even take coupons. And there isn't any choice involved: 1 type of bread. 1 type of milk. Take it or leave it.
My type of shopping.
June 9, 2009 5:11 AM
don't listen to russ...time is VALUABLE..i am saving $10 on a plane to charlotte by going to mineapolis miinn first two hour layover and i don't have a magazine to read...i had to take two zolofts to weather me thropugh is the 10 dollars worth it...of course not
June 9, 2009 10:09 AM
Heh, I try to use them. It's a lot of planning though. I'm not very good at the planning part.
June 9, 2009 10:11 AM
ROFLMAO! it's one thing to never shop with coupons... I don't usually. But girl, it's entirely a whole different thing to NOT KNOW you have to give them to the frickin' cashier!
Justine :o )
P.S. Been praying for you EVERY day.
June 10, 2009 7:44 AM
LMAO! I can't do the coupon thing either. Too much work. It's like driving a stick shift when there are perfectly good automatics out there that do the work for you. Why put in that extra effort when you can just go and look for the in-store sale signs. Coupons are highly overrated.