James doesn't start the new job until Wednesday, so now that we can relax a little and enjoy this "time off" instead of weeping and gnashing our teeth, we decided to go on a little "nature walk" in the woods that make up the back of our property.

I'm not really a big fan of the out of doors. One, I'm allergic to everything that is alive; animals, plants, feminists. Two, it's really dirty outside. Like really dirty. Three, I don't have the right footwear. I may have some flats, but they are called "athletic inspired" and cost three hundred bucks. So I'm not exactly keen on using them to tromp through the mud. But I'm nothing if not a good sport. I will admit, we had a really good time.


This outdoorsy crap is right up James' alley. He even, shudder, camps. Foul.

Our Great Outdoors is pretty mild, thankfully, though I think I did drive James a little insane insisting there were no less than three big cats and/or bears stalking us waiting to pounce. I know this because I heard rustling in the brush every once in awhile and plus, I don't think I am being conceited when I say that I must be very tasty. What wild animal wouldn't want to eat me? I had a right to be concerned.

But we pressed on in our journey, navigating ourselves over rough waters...


Throwing rocks into the fathoms of said rough waters...


Picking "booful fowers" for Mommy...


And hitching rides home...


Ella B. came along as well, but ever the girl after my own heart, she was not too interested in communing with nature...


We made it home a little tired, a little dirty, and a lot relieved not to be in the belly of some forest dwelling beast. Well, at least I was. James took away from our little excursion a new way to mock me; he has been stalking me around the house for the last three days pretending to be a bear. Totally the opposite of funny. Joshua put my "booful fowers" in a "vase" (one of his plastic cups!) and reminds me of them at least ten times a day. Ella B. and I have agreed that we did enjoy ourselves, but from now on every time Daddy makes us spend time outside getting dirty? We get to spend an afternoon at the spa.