Posts
Five Weeks
22 June, 2009
It's another rainy, dismal day in Duluth. This foggy gray weather does little to improve my outlook right now. It's been nearly five weeks since we moved here permanently. Five weeks since James' job fell through. Five weeks since I stopped having regular manicures and pedicures. Five weeks since we've done things like take the children to the zoo, the Children's Theatre, or even out to eat. Five weeks since I started living on a budget so we don't swathe right through our savings this year.
Maybe I don't have a right to be upset about this. Maybe I sound whiny, maybe those of you reading this who have been out of work or had husbands (wives?) out of work for so much longer than five weeks want to just grab me and shake me. I'm sorry, then, if that's the case.
It's just difficult. We never would have bought this house, never would have moved here, never would have had our family living in two different states for so many weeks before Ella was born, never would have been in this position if we'd known it would be this difficult for James to find legitimate work in his field.
James is an electrical engineer. He's so talented, so brilliant, and so motivated. He had a great job lined up and then the company laid off nearly 90% of its workforce. Still, we weren't worried. Supposedly engineers are still in high demand. He has been hounding every engineering firm in this county to no avail. Now he's beginning to send resumes all over the country, because we may have no choice but to up and move again. So far, nobody is falling all over themselves to hire him because, obviously, the market is flooded with job seekers and employers have the luxury of time and choice. We? Do not.
Right now my husband, with his fancy specialized degree, his expertise, and his unfailing determination to support his family is interviewing at a car dealership for a sales position. Then he's going to a job agency to see if they have any temporary work. Then he's going to swallow his pride and apply for any minimum wage bullshit job that's out there, because we have had huge amounts of money going out for the last five weeks, but nothing trickling in.
And this is all my fault. I encouraged him to apply for a job in Duluth. I encouraged him to broaden his horizons and try something new with this small aircraft design company that fell apart at about the same time our moving truck pulled into our new driveway. I am the one who really pushed this move. I made it happen. And it has been an absolute disaster.
I never imagined myself in this position. I didn't think I'd be sitting here on pins and needles desperately hoping for a $2000 base plus commission salary instead of laughing at such a pittance. I can't believe I put my family in this position. Who leaves a great, high paying job in this economy to move to rainy, freezing Duluth?
The weather is just awful today. It isn't helping my outlook. It would serve me right to have to change the title of this blog from Mama Still Wears Gucci to Mama Shops With Coupons and Wears the Kathy Lee Gifford Brand From WalMart.
June 22, 2009 9:12 AM
It's not your fault. How is encouraging someone to do anything your fault? Did you have some insider information about the company going down the shitter right as you moved there? No, you didn't so you can't blame yourself. So knock it off and please don't change your name or start shopping for Kathy Lee's brand of clothes. I'll keep you in my thoughts and I'm sure somethings out there.
Hugs,
Jess
June 22, 2009 9:19 AM
Not Your Fault, Blame Fannie Mae,..
I here ya sista, one of the most horrific things That has happened to us as well. Hang in there I do believe there is a silver lining around every cloud even in Duluth!
You will never be a walmart clothing shopper, never!!
Hang in there guys :)
Wish we lived closer, I have become very talented at doing my own name and toes :) and even eyebrows :) HUGS!!!
June 22, 2009 9:20 AM
Not my name nails, ugh, I am a mess :)
June 22, 2009 10:14 AM
Don't apologize for talking about your situation. It's your life and I'm sure it's not what you had planned. Which means complaining about it is ok.
Yes, there are others worse off but there are others better off as well.
It's your blog and you can bitch if you want to.
Hallie :)
June 22, 2009 11:03 AM
This would only be your fault if you were psychic and you new what a disaster/challenge it would turn out to be. I see this as a chance for you to see what is really important. Your kids/Joshua would probably rather be with you in your arms looking at pictures of you all at the zoo, than being there in the rain. James will find something! I have cousins if you need me to send out feelers. I haven't talked with them in almost 20 years but I would call them for you! You of all the people I know shouldn't lose faith right now. Rememeber back how bad things were in the hospital?
These are just new challenges. Welcome to my world of coupons and saving money. Don't worry, it won't kill you!
Hugs and love,
GEM
June 22, 2009 1:13 PM
Hang in there hun, I know what you are going through, Abel used to get laid off every winter for 4 to 5 months every year and it was the hardest thing to endure. IF it ever comes down to it, James can always look up jobs for the Canadian Pacific Railroad, that's where Abel is working. They have a place in St. Paul and I forget wherever else, so it isn't too far away. I'll be praying someone picks James up and fast. It's so hard on a man to be without a way to support the family. And you can "whine" all you want hun, it doesn't matter who has been out of work longest, it's freaking hard! I'll keep you guys in my prayers and hope things work out soon!
June 22, 2009 1:36 PM
Sounds like things are a bit rougher than normal for you right now but you have to have faith that it'll all work out. I do believe things MUST take a turn for the better sometime soon. Things suck for so many families right now.... you are honestly lucky that you HAVE a savings to live off of. It sounds like you have an amazing man in James and I'm sure he'll find a way to make all right with your world. Don't feel bad....you encouraged him to spread his wings....that's awesome. Things just don't always turn out as planned.
June 22, 2009 9:14 PM
I understand all too well. It. Sucks. Big donkey balls.
June 22, 2009 11:29 PM
This too will pass. At least that is what I keep telling myself, 4 months after my job ended and having no savings to fall back on.
Do not blame yourself. You could NOT have known that things would turn out like this. This is something that is happening all over, whether in Duluth or Michigan or Ohio...it's everywhere.
I really like the idea of you going back to school. That would be awesome!
Kady
June 24, 2009 8:47 AM
Aw girl, it's gonna be okay, I just know it is. Yes, you're having to step down from what you're used to, but think of it this way. What you're used to is so much more than most of us will ever have. Jimmy's a mechanical engineer, has a great job down here making a good amount of money, but our debt is so high, that whole wage goes out the door every month.
There's no shame in shopping with coupons. Walmart can be your friend, as it is mine. Gucci will still be there when James gets on his feet again.
Justine :o )