Posts
A Wrench in the Plans
09 April, 2009
Ah, we were so close. Since she was born, Ella has amazed everybody with how well she's done. She's regulating her temperature, she's feeding well, she's breathing on her own. She was all set to come home with me tomorrow. We were this close.
I think the fact that she has behaved for all intents and purposes like a "normal" newborn has lulled us into this false sense of security; we started to take for granted that she would continue to laugh in the face of the odds against her. We've sort of been knocked off our pedestal.
For the most part she continues to thrive, but the simple fact is that there are some things her tiny body just cannot handle. One of those things? Sitting in the car seat. Before being released she has to pass a non stress test while sitting in the car seat for an hour. She didn't last five minutes tonight before her heart rate started to drop and she couldn't breathe.
If there is a feeling more terrifying than that which strikes when you see your child turn blue about the mouth because she's not getting enough air? Well, I cannot imagine what could possibly cause it.
This alone is enough reason to keep her in the hospital awhile longer, but there are other issues cropping up. Issues that in a term baby wouldn't be necessarily worrisome, but in a preemie? Well, they're taken more seriously. She's jaundiced, which is certainly common among infants in the first few days of life, but she's getting worse each time they test, not better. This indicates that she isn't feeding quite as well as we thought she was, and so in addition to likely requiring some intervention for the jaundice, she may also need a feeding tube after all.
We're going to see how things go throughout the night and make a final decision tomorrow. For now I'm only feeding her breast milk that I've pumped so I can measure exactly how much she takes in. She'll have another blood test in the morning to see where her billirubin levels are at. If that checks out, they may let her go home in a car bed.
Right now I'm feeling torn. I'm worried about her, certainly. I'm disappointed that she may not be coming home with me. On the other hand, she needs to be where she's getting the best care, and if that's in the hospital? Then I need to be OK with leaving her here. I am OK with leaving her here.
I just need her to be alright.
Show Mama your war face, little girl! We'll be strong together and work our way through this, shall we? You can do it, baby. You've overcome so much already.
April 9, 2009 11:33 PM
Come on baby girl!! You have over come soooo many odds. You are going to be a girl so full of surprises people aren't going to know if you are coming or going...lol. Hang in there steph. Keep us posted.
April 10, 2009 7:23 AM
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April 10, 2009 7:26 AM
Sorry so many errors it was hard to read!
ya know ever since I knew you were preggo I knew it would be a girl and I knew a hand full of other things as well. As for now I know she will be okay. Working with preemies I have learend a lil trick of their trade. They do this. They go up and down up and down. Just remembering Tage's story and how for days he would be flyin by tests and amazin all then he would take four steps back causing us all to gasp. I do know this, that out of all of the preemies I have been blessed to know they all have done this. Not to worry Mama!!! Eaiser said than done I know :)
But there is something else too,
All preemies are fighters, all of them, so Miss Ella is part of that elite group of sass assed babies under 38 weeks. Blessings!
I know all will be well.
Her body is just getting used to the outside world
Love, & Hugs
April 10, 2009 8:12 AM
Miss Ella sounds like a total fighter and I bet she's going to stay that way. I'm still keeping you guys in my thoughts and saying a little prayer for ya. You take care of yourself, Steph. She's gonna need her momma ready to shop for her Gucci's when she plows through this stuff.
Hugs,
Nerdy
April 10, 2009 10:51 AM
She has surprised everyone so much already, I think it's ok if she needs a little bit of help in an area or two. She'll overcome them soon enough. SO Glad they have that car seat test. It's an important one.
How are YOU feeling?
April 10, 2009 10:54 AM
The car seat for an hour sounds like torture! I can't believe you got it already. Is this the same one you ordered from Germany? If it is, wow!
I'm hoping that you can all get the heck out of there real soon!
Hugs and love,
T
April 10, 2009 10:59 AM
Well hun, don't worry. Ella will over come this just like she overcame all the other issues surrounding her birth. She's doing amazing still by far so these tiny little steps backwards aren't too bad when you take in what she's beat. I will keep praying for you both and hope she can come home soon!
April 10, 2009 11:16 AM
( ) ( )
(=*.*=)
(") _ (")
A little something for you and Ella!
Have a Happy Easter!!
Hugs!!
April 10, 2009 4:04 PM
i would like some day for you to meet our little 1.5 pound becky...of course she is not that wieght now and she teachs special ed for elementary kids, but with her courageous hearing dog plugs away at life and succceeedddds....so be it with e,lllllllllaaaaaa..will pray for her and her mom, and even her dad
April 10, 2009 4:51 PM
It sounds like she's getting excellent care. That said, I cannot even imagine what you must be feeling. ((hugs)) I'll continue to send good thoughts and prayers your way.
April 11, 2009 7:01 AM
My prayers are with you guys! She sounds like a fighter. *hugs*
April 11, 2009 7:16 AM
Hey, for all the fear we (yes, we) went through before you had Ella, and all of the possibilities of things that could go wrong, this is small potatoes really. She's just not quite ready to go home, but she's doing SO well really. Lots to be thankful for, that's for sure. More pictures, please!!!!!!!
Justine :o )
April 11, 2009 9:01 PM
Sounds like your little Ella is a fighter! She'll make it through...if she needs a little help in the form of a feeding tube then that's o.k....my son had a feeding tube for 9 months and at first I was scared to death but I got completely used to it and when his doctor said we could have it removed it was honestly a little hard for me to do it....he has been tube free for a month now and it's all good but it was a big security thing for me....keeping you in my prayers....
April 12, 2009 3:22 PM
I've seen my baby's lips turn blue. I get it.
I'm leading the cheer from the stands, "Baby Girl!! Baby Girl!! Baby Girl!!"